mozric

lots has happened.
I like having this as a kind of record. Don't really feel bad for not keeping up with it but whatever.
Since last post I have played A LOT of CoD5. heh.
Had a relationship that lasted for some time before I ended it. Just going to take that one as a learning experience. Was worth it, and was quite good at times.
Been doing a lot of music. Have a lot of stuff written and currently I'm working on a house-ish album with one song for every planet. Done Pluto, Neptune and Uranus. Saturn next.
Busy at uni but not too bad.

Might use this blog some more but we'll see. Don't have too much of a use for it but I guess it's good to put my thoughts outside me every once in a while.
I got an eeePC and I've been using it well to write poetry before I go to sleep many a night. Want to try something longer but it's hard to get going on it. Ah well, I'll keep trying. And winning.

haven't been using livejournal much

a pity

been doing well though. writing a bit more, writing some music too.

Had a good semester at uni, got good marks.

I'm planning on trying to get a bit more serious about writing these holidays. See if I can do it as a shift, like I promise to write 10-12. If I can get that going good I might quit my casual job and give myself 10 hours of writing shifts instead.
Should be making plenty of money for the next while, anyway. Working probably 3 days a week. Don't need too much. Each shift I make enough to survive on for 2 weeks. And I have a bit stashed away. I don't buy too much stuff you see. And I'm fussy about getting a good price for stuffs.
I bought a new phone today because the old one broke... and I feel bad about spending $75 on it. Was the 3rd cheapest one, got it because it had bluetooth and the cheaper two didn't. Probably won't use bluetooth. Well, at least I didn't go for any more fancy models. Don't need a phone that has a billion features I won't use. Barely used the crappy camera on the other one.


So anyway, COD5 should be installed by now, so time to go give it a spin.

I have thursday to sunday free, except for two soccer games and a work shift on saturday. But I find it difficult to get started on my work. Plenty of time left, but I feel like I really should be doing something. Reading Paradise Lost is a bit of a pain because it requires a good bit of effort to slug through. And the two small assignments are a little bit daunting, but not hard enough that I feel compelled to make a start. I almost wish they were bigger.

Well, the main thing is that I shouldn't feel guilty about slacking and having a bit of fun. But I should still get stuff done. Here's what I'll do. By Sunday Night I have to have done the two assignments, finished my online module and read the Nietzsche readings. If I can get that done, any slackness is excusable. How to divide up the labour?
Well I think I'll end up doing it most on sunday afternoon. No biggie, just got to commit to that.

Gah, homework logistics is fiddly.

So, yeah, as I said I got a little bored of livejournal. I think it's good to keep somewhat of a record here though, even if it's brief. So I might start back up.

In the meantime:

Finished those essays, the Phil of Psyc was the most stressful, I ended up working basically all night on it the day before it was due.
Got good marks in everything except English. Probably needed to do more than 1 draft :-/

Then I had a month to myself at home. Made a few songs, screwed around, played poker, etc. Was fairly fun.
Went on holidays next. Travelling was a bit stressful, but overall fun. Met some neat people from online in England, did a lot of book reading and sight-seeing for the rest of the time which was very nice.
Got back just under two weeks ago now. Been a bit hectic gearing back up for uni, but I don't have too much work. The subjects I've chosen seem fun and I'm trying to make myself stay on top of the work well before it's due. This process was interrupted by heavy partying last weekend that left me incapacitated, so badly that I missed out on going to paintball and took a heavy financial toll on cab fees, lost paintball deposits, etc. But I'm just going to leave that behind me and look forward. Still getting everything done, just got to make sure I finish my readings this weekend.
Work has been okay for me getting back from holidays. Did two shifts, 5hr and 6hr. I think I'm finally not stressing about going to work. It doesn't really bother me now, which is good. I have a nice manager.

So I have a whole bunch of novels I need to read. This semester I only go in to uni on monday and wednesday, which is very awesome.

Well, back to homework I think.

So, I find that I haven't been using my blog much recently.

Things have been pretty good. I'm getting to the business end of semester, so I'm a little tired. But not too much work really. Since I'm only in mon/tue/wed I have a lot of spare time.

To go:
Finish English creative writing 3000word thing
Philosophy of Psychology essay -- got sources
Film (Auteur Theory) essay -- got sources
2 ways of reasoning tests (easy)
1 philosophy of psychology test (fairly easy)

In a few weeks it's over.


I'm having a little problem with boredom though. I can amuse myself for hours easily, but I feel like I shouldn't be wasting my time. Life is dying a second at a time and all that.
It's probably not so good that my leisure is linked with guilt. I need to stop that. Relax and enjoy myself. The problem is that because during my leisure I feel like I should be doing something productive, when I go to do some work I feel like I haven't had any good fun to make up for it. Then it goes in a cycle like that.

Well, screw that. I'm going to give enjoying myself a go for a little while. I handed in an essay today, I should be relaxed. Then a nicely short 3 hour work shift.


As for this blog... well these days I'm not so much feeling the need for it. It's nice to vent a bit and express myself, but I think that I've gotten better at working myself out without the need to write down little things. Poetry's still good though. I need to write more of that.

Well, I have another easy-ish weekend.
But I'm trying to get a start on my work, especially on my Creative Writing project.
It's quite hard. I have a few ideas but I find it hard to commit to one. This morning I've written a poem and edited an older story of mine (I need to send it to a friend to try to work out if it's actually good.
I'm getting a little frustrated with the writing process, it's not an easy thing.
I just need to keep at it and not give up.
One thing is that I'm trying not to rely on caffeine as a kick-start to my creative process. So I haven't had any coffee. But I find that a bit of caffeine really does help. The worry is that in the long term I may be unable to write anything good without a few cups of coffee. That would suck.
Hmmm, perhaps a bit later on I'll have a cup, just to give me a little boost. But it's been good to start the day without dosing up on coffee first though, I guess.

This week's a bit more lax. I don't have any assignments due next week, but there is a clump of them coming up, so I probably should get a head start on some of them.

I'm kinda bored. I don't have too much to do and I don't feel motivated to do anything exciting. Going to have some coffee now and see if that helps. Doing some writing would be good, but otherwise I'll see if I can while away the afternoon playing final fantasy and doing a bit of reading for next week's classes.

I'm feeling gradually better. Been keeping busy. Been working on not worrying so much. Going to eat Chinese tonight (woo!).

I'm a little disappointed, I was planning on having some people over for drinks and movies this weekend as my parents are going out of town. But my people are busy. I guess I could still get it going... I have one person who's free, and can probably bring his girlfriend... then there's another that I haven't tried. If they can scrape together a person or two each it could be groovy still.
My circle of friends is fairly small, but perhaps it's not too small to make gatherings impossible? That's a nice thought. I'd like to make more good friends, but, hey, it's not really something that you can buy out of a catalogue.

I'm feeling okay. I have work all Saturday, but despite a few pangs yesterday I am not too concerned about it. Good to hear that I don't have uncontrollable anxiety.

Well, I must be off... dinner awaits!

It just occurred to me that I missed my two-year anniversary of blogging. Well I'd like to take this chance to express proper celebratory expression. Yaay.
Let us hope that next March finds me with greater happiness and tranquility.

I haven't been blogging this week.
The main reason I guess is that I read a rant by Robin Hobb saying that blogging is an evil trap for a writer to fall into. She has a good point. But it's kinda silly for me to stop, as I'm not using blogging as a time-wasting social networking thing, it's really more like a diary for me. To be honest there's little reason it's online. The main reason for me is so that there's something out there that I feel like I have an obligation towards... if I kept a private diary I wouldn't feel so compelled to write in it. Also perhaps it is therapeutic for me to feel like I am taking a risk when I expose myself potentially to the world. I'm not sure how well that works or even if it makes me feel good, but whatever. I'm sticking with it for at least now.

Anyway, what's happened this week...
I didn't really get much work done last weekend. I put a lot of it off and then ran off to play poker on friday and sunday night. Wasn't too bad, but it ended up that I had to write my Film log book entries the night before. I was probably more worried than I needed to be.
This weekend is a bit busy too. I have a 1000 word essay to do, a bit of study for a class test, and a week's worth of reading. Plenty of time to relax as well though.

This week I think I've felt a little better. Playing squash on Tuesday with Adam was good and I had a nice chat with him. Let some of my worries out. Very nice. Also I beat him for the first time in one of the games, which was awesome. There are very few shots that he doesn't return.

One helpful thing that I'd like to note down is about I think it was friday last week. I was planning to write my creative writing piece for the week. I couldn't really think of what to write though. I was going to give up and just say that my muse wasn't there that day. But I then decided well screw that, i'm going to make the ideas come. And sure enough, soon I had an idea about what to write. I think the moral of the story is that I can always work out something interesting to write about so long as i don't give up. Persistance is the key.


That's pretty much it. FFXII has been fun. I'm still irrationally stressed about work though. Curious. Even now when I've got almost 36 hours until work i feel a bit worried like it's looming over me. Makes it a bit harder to enjoy my free time :(


Oh and I've decided that now I'm a poet. Making up poetry and speaking it as it comes seems to put me at ease. So my big challenge to satisfy my frustrated sense of hubris is to be a poet in this day and age.